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You Might Be In A Horror Novel If…

The 25 Best Gothic Horror Books

You are in an abandoned mansion in the middle of nowhere.

You are a governess, left alone with oddly acting or obviously evil children.

You are isolated from the rest of the world by weather, geography, and/or another outside force beyond your control.

You do not trust the evidence of your own senses.

 

You might be in The Turn of the Screw by Henry James,

or This House Is Haunted by John Boyne

 

It is stormy, dark and gloomy.

You are the captive of a scheming and sadistic governess, teacher, caretaker, or relative.

You are trapped in the walls, a basement, a closet, or an attic.

There is a hedge maze, Escher-style stairs, or carnivorous beast on the property.

Authorities are absent or unable to help you.

 

You might be in Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews,

or Misery by Stephen King

Your house is a former asylum or school, built over a graveyard, or the site of a cold-case murder.

You have specifically been told not to open a door.

Ghosts are either menacing you, possessing you, or asking you for help.

An inanimate object starts talking to you.

Someone is leading you through dark, underground tunnels or catacombs.

Your nightmares seem very, very real.

 

You might be in Down A Dark Hall by Lois Duncan,

or the stories of Edgar Allan Poe

 

It is bright and sunny, and everyone is very, very, happy.

 

You are uneasy without obvious reason.

You are uneasy with obvious reason.

Everyone in town is related to (or at least knows) everyone else.

There is a terrible secret in your town’s past (or present).

A disturbing community ritual, probably involving demon worship, is scheduled for the near future.

You are offered a favor in exchange for your soul.

You find a book or journal that clearly will summon an ancient evil.

 

You might be in  The Thirteen  by Susie Moloney

or The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin

 

A classified, experimental government program has gone awry.

An inexplicable and incurable virus has infected the majority of the population.

A malicious mythical creature attempts to eat you, assimilate you, or seduce you.

A vigilante or cult-like group is bent on destruction.

 

You might be in The Strain by Chuck Hogan and Guillermo del Toro

or The Fireman  by Joe Hill

 

Giant, mutated creatures are approaching.

Ominous, tentacled creatures appear on the scene.

The narrator or main character is showing clear evidence of insanity.

 

You might be in Maplecroft by Cherie Priest, Clickers by J.F. Gonzalez,

or the works of H.P. Lovecraft.

 

People are dying in brutal, horrifying, appalling ways.

Someone, or something, wants to eat you for dinner.

 

You might be in Succulent Prey by Wrath James White,

or Monster Island by David Wellington

 

Your perceptions are unreliable or distorted.

You can’t trust your memories.

You can’t trust the media.

You might be in A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay

 

You have a feeling of bone deep terror.

That unending sense of dread just won’t go away.

You hear a loud “slam” and things go dark…

 

You’re probably trapped in a horror novel. Let’s hope that your reader decides to open up the book again, and gives you a chance to escape!

 

 

Editor’s note: not all books are appropriate for all readers.. and I wouldn’t wish any of you to be trapped in any of these! 

 

 

 

Book Review: The Fireman by Joe Hill

The Fireman by Joe Hill

William Morrow, 2016

ISBN-10: 0062200631; ISBN-13: 978-0062200631

Availability: Hardcover, Paperback, Kindle edition

 

Joe Hill may be Stephen King’s son, but he has staked out his own claim on horror fiction as quite the forbidding beast. His published work, such as his story in 20th Century Ghosts (William Morrow, 2008), the retro-feel Heart Shaped Box (2009) the quirky Horns (2011), and masterful N0S4A2 (2013), has become more and more outstanding. His newest, The Fireman, has been touted as Hill’s masterpiece, and I agree.

 

The plot of The Fireman begins when a new, incurable, virus called Dragonscale breaks out. Dragonscale is beautiful in its black and gold-speckled bruised hues, and the effects of the disease are instantaneous for many victims; once infected, people catch fire. Some suffer just a little puff of smoke on the arms, legs, or chest; others combust and light up like napalm.

 

When nurse Grayson Harper sees a man catch fire outside her school, she decides to volunteer at the local hospital to help victims of Dragonscale. One day, a strange man in fire gear demands help for a child in his arms. This is the titular character, who forsakes his own well-being to help others. Grayson sees him again when she learns she is pregnant, and infected. The fireman helps her escape her abusive husband and leads her to a “camp” where other infected victims learn to live with the disease. Most of the plot revolves around the wild array of characters at camp, including a cult-like group, and we soon learn there are no true villains in this story: just misguided humans.

 

The Fireman is surprising and brilliant, and at over 700 pages, it would serve as a great summer read. Joe Hill is an incredible storyteller; the reader feels as though they are sitting at a bar or campfire listening to a master spin a yarn. The writing is smooth, and the story will stay with the reader long after the covers are closed. I won’t be surprised if it garners a Stoker. Highly recommended.

 

Reviewed by David Simms