{"id":3474,"date":"2014-10-27T11:20:22","date_gmt":"2014-10-27T15:20:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monsterlibrarian.com\/TheCirculationDesk\/?p=3474"},"modified":"2016-10-28T09:00:56","modified_gmt":"2016-10-28T13:00:56","slug":"read-to-survive-monster-librarians-horror-movie-survival-guide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monsterlibrarian.com\/TheCirculationDesk\/read-to-survive-monster-librarians-horror-movie-survival-guide\/","title":{"rendered":"Read to Survive! Monster Librarian’s Horror Movie Survival Guide"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\u00a0Read To Survive! Monster Librarian’s Horror Movie Survival Guide.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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As editor of Monster Librarian, I was recently challenged to come up with a list of things I\u2019d \u00a0 \u00a0want to take with me if I was suddenly dropped into a horror movie. The only restriction \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0was that the items would have to fit in a crate. I\u2019m a reader, and a trained librarian, so my \u00a0 first instinct is to suggest The The Horror Movie Survival Guide <\/a>Movie Survival Guide,\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>because that would have all kinds of great strategies for making it through (we have a similar list, The Shocklines Horror Movie Survival Guide<\/a>,<\/em><\/strong> on our site). However, chances are that while I consulted the book, I\u2019d probably be the #1 victim for taking my eyes off my surroundings. Fortunately, I have a fabulous and knowledgeable group of reviewers, and they\u2019ve seen LOTS of horror movies. If I had to go, I\u2019d want to take them with me, and I\u2019m sure they wouldn\u2019t leave me behind so they could escape. Right, guys?<\/p>\n

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Unfortunately, I can\u2019t fit them in a crate. So I asked them what they would take, if it happened to them. They\u2019re a very practical group. After wishful thoughts of distracting the creature(s) by sending members of Congress, or sending John Constantine instead, there was majority agreement that if you couldn\u2019t get reception on your fully charged cell phone<\/strong> to call for rescue, it would be great to have a full canteen of water<\/strong>, so you don\u2019t dehydrate, and plenty of energy bars<\/strong>, to keep you fueled with more than adrenaline. Also, comfortable running shoes<\/strong> are essential, (since chances are you\u2019ll be doing a lot of running). There was debate over whether it\u2019s better to take a working flashlight<\/strong>, a lighter<\/strong>, or candles with waterproof matches<\/strong> (in case the batteries in the flashlight die, after you\u2019ve been running for your life for days on end), but I think it makes sense to take them all. Candle flames don\u2019t shed much light, but you can\u2019t make a fire with a flashlight, and a lighter won\u2019t work if it gets soaked. As one reviewer noted, with good shoes and plenty of light, you\u2019re much less likely to trip and fall (like everyone does). And there are so many reasons you might need to set a fire. Did I say set a fire? I meant light a fire.<\/p>\n

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Ash with his chainsaw and boomstick.
Found at fridaythe13th.wikia.com<\/p><\/div>\n

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And, of course, as one reviewer put it, \u201cyou\u2019ve got to have weapons\u201d. Popular suggestions included a machete<\/strong>, a knife,<\/strong> a sword<\/strong>, a chainsaw<\/strong> (\u201chandy for cutting through things that go bump in the night\u201d, according to another reviewer) an automatic weapon with extra ammo<\/strong>, and a \u201cbooms<\/strong>tick\u201d<\/strong>, (the double-barreled shotgun Ash uses in Army of Darkness<\/em>). I\u2019d add a stake<\/strong> to that list, as well, since sometimes only wood will do, and a silver bullet<\/strong> for that boomstick, just in case you have to deal with a conventional werewolf.<\/p>\n

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While some of these might not fit in the crate, one reviewer suggested that you could always wear them to save room for other things that would. It was also mentioned that night vision goggles<\/strong> would be very helpful to weapon wielders in the dark. It\u2019s true, you can\u2019t really hold a flashlight or candle while flailing around with a chainsaw, and you want to make every bullet count. While I wouldn\u2019t necessarily consider it the most effective of weapons, I liked the suggestion of a Swiss Army knife<\/strong>\u2014it may have a tiny blade in comparison to some of the previously named weapons, but it does have one, and its many other tools could come in handy. It\u2019s small, so it won\u2019t take up much room, and it can be carried in your pocket.<\/p>\n

It also might be the only thing listed here that I wouldn\u2019t actually hurt myself with.<\/p>\n

Weapons are not my thing, and in a horror movie, Murphy\u2019s Law is multiplied times a dozen, at least.<\/p>\n

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I should note here that this challenge was issued to us by Man Crates,<\/a> a company that ships gift sets in crates that must be opened using a crowbar<\/strong>. The crowbar is included, so assuming that our crate is coming from her, we\u2019d have one of those to arm ourselves with as well. A crowbar could be quite useful in times of peril.<\/p>\n

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If you\u2019re in the kind of movie where the monster is impervious to mere weapons (although it\u2019s hard for me to imagine anything being unaffected by a chainsaw), you\u2019ll want a selection of religious or occult items that you can easily keep on you while you\u2019re on the go. A cross<\/strong> might ward off evil, holy water<\/strong> can be an effective deterrent (you could keep it loaded in a water pistol in order to get your creature from a distance), salt<\/strong> can be used to contain demons, and glow-in-the-dark chalk<\/strong> could be used to draw a circle. Rope<\/strong> has many uses, including restraining victims of possession. \u00a0However, if you\u2019re feeling loaded down by now, you could take one reviewer\u2019s advice and \u201cforget those religious trinkets, as you can get some off the dead\u201d!<\/p>\n

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Need access to resources? Problem solved.
Found at Univ. of Arizona Harry Potter Alliance site.<\/p><\/div>\n

Finally, I know it\u2019s an unusual suggestion, but as a librarian, it\u2019s obvious to me: I suggest a library card<\/b>, because you never know when you\u2019re going to need obscure reference material on religion or the occult, and as any fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Harry Potter can tell you, you can always find the necessary occult knowledge in the library\u2019s Restricted Section. Our motto here is \u201cRead to Survive\u201d, and we take that very seriously.<\/p>\n

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Although this challenge came from Man Crates, Monster Librarian is not endorsing or advertising for them. \u00a0And, while I recognize the problematic nature of being gifted with ugly neckties, it\u2019s not just men who get presents they don\u2019t want and won\u2019t use. Everyone enjoys getting a present that\u2019s fun to open and suits their interests (I think the entertainment value of opening your present with a crowbar could be pretty awesome regardless of sex) so why limit your audience?<\/p>\n

Of course, if you aren\u2019t stuck in a horror movie, and a crate full of the items we listed above, or similar ones, came as a gift, there are a few practical problems with the contents. Especially if you have little kids. When the horror lover in your life opens up his survival kit to find a machete and a crossbow (and yes, I speak from personal experience here) what exactly are you supposed to do with the weaponry?<\/p>\n

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At Monster Librarian, we don\u2019t accept paid advertising. We just want to provide you with honest reviews and resources about the horror genre, and we like to have fun. I have to offer Man Crates a great big thanks for what has turned out to be, for us, an entertaining Halloween treat.<\/p>\n

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–Contributors:\u00a0 Aaron Fletcher, Benjamin Franz, Kirsten Kowaleweski, Jennifer Lawrence, Michele Lee, Lucy Lockley, Patricia Mathews, David Simms, Sheila Shedd, Colleen Wanglund, and Wendy Zazo-Phillips<\/p>\n

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  \u00a0Read To Survive! Monster Librarian’s Horror Movie Survival Guide.   As editor of Monster Librarian, I was recently challenged to come up with a list of things I\u2019d \u00a0 \u00a0want to take with me if I was suddenly dropped into a horror movie. The only restriction \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0was that the items would have<\/p>\n

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