And Then I Woke Up by Malcolm Devlin. (Bookshop.org  | Amazon.com)

Tor.com. 2022

ISBN: ‎978-1250798077

Available: Paperbsck, Kindle edition.

This was an PDF ARC provided to me by Ellen Datlow so changes may have been made prior to publication.

And Then I Woke Up has an unreliable narrator, a middle-aged man named Spence, who (we are told) is at a mental facility for people who have been “infected” by a virus that caused a mass delusion that made them believe people around them were flesh-eating zombies, reinforced by a media narrative, and by infected charismatic leaders who emerged from the chaos to take control of small groups of “survivors”.

Spence notices Leila, a new patient, is not fitting in. After accidentally seeing a snippet of a news report she decides to break out and Spence goes with her. We learn Spence’s story– or do we? The story he remembers is not the one other infected people remember, or the one the Army reported, or the account in the news, or the one the families of people he attacked remember. And only one of those stories is the one the therapist wants to hear him repeat.

Leila wants to return to join her group because it was easier to understand the world in black and white, but needs a different narrative to justify her survival so Spence comes up with one, or maybe a second, or maybe a third– he’s not sure what actually happens, although he hopes her story will be enough to influence the narrative positively so infected, cured, and uninfected can coexist peacefully.

But Spence’s imagination will no longer allow him to believe in a single narrative and as he dreams of both past events and possible futures he loses his grip on reality.

What’s interesting about Spence is his lack of interest in the media or politics. His reaction to the infection establishes him as a “believer” fully enough that it completely alters his perceptions despite that. Rather than simply a story about a zombie invasion or pandemic, Devlin has written a critique of how narrative can be shaped to influence even people who don’t start out with an interest in it.

And Then I Woke Up is a short piece that will appeal to readers who appreciate unreliable narrators, but those looking for a straightforward narrative will want to look elsewhere.

There’s a lot about storytelling, narrative, othering, grief, guilt, and what makes a believer. This felt political, but makes its mark on a very personal, heartbreaking, and terrifying level.

Reviewed by Kirsten Kowalewski