Brokeula by Michael J. Seidlinger

CLASH Books, 2026

ISBN: 9781968043094

Available: Paperback, Kindle edition

Buy: Bookshop.org |  Amazon.com

Vampire James Sugre has seen the rise and fall of empires, usually with him on top, riding the wave of prosperity. But with a recently failed crypto investment, he is down to nothing. Even worse, he is overdrawn, resulting in his first acolyte calling him “Brokeula”. 

James laments the capitalist system in which bloodsuckers such as himself struggle to survive while the elites in the Vampire Nation are living comfortably on high quality synthetic drugs (which they have a monopoly over), forcing regular bloodsuckers like James to hunt and feed on humans like peasants. Vampire peasants. He recalls, “I know what it feels like to have so much power that I could end an entire industry, a whole town, on a mere thought”, yet is now struggling to remember to cancel an auto-renew subscription that takes another hit on his finances.

After a few failed get rich schemes, he turns Lauren, a savvy, vampire fangirl, to be his vampire acolyte. She convinces him to create an MLM (multilevel marketing) scheme with a tiered pricing plan to turn other humans. By creating an army of vampires and amassing huge amounts of money, he thinks he can overtake the Vampire Nation and their exclusive synthetic blood supply. Instead of the deadly, violent battle he expected, James finds out the haves will always have an upper hand over the have-nots, without losing one drop of blood. Finally, James realizes the answer to “what can go wrong when you turn all humans into vampires?”

This short novel (a little over 100 pages) shows that immortality and centuries of experience does not mean you still can’t be a dumbass. If you like the show “What We Do In The Shadows”, you’ll enjoy reading the trials and tribulations of an out-of-luck vampire hoping to regain his former glory and riches in a system set up to make it really hard to get ahead.